A Meditation on Addiction

With the exception of nicotine, I've never been an addict.  Smoking was hell to quit, but I did it, without special gums or other weaning off, 17 years ago. Enjoyed one last Marlboro and stopped. 

Prior to that- I did a lot of interesting things, to be brief, some of them chemical, and when it was time to walk away from that, it wasn't at all difficult for me.  Losing the friends I had in the life was more difficult than the chemistry, and even then... It was really just a matter of wanting a better set of friends.

Well, one friend in particular, but she was a gateway friend. 

Even my old friend caffeine, whenever I have noticed that I was reacting to it- drinking too much- I've been able to cut down without much effort. 

So?

So I know a lot of addicts. A. Lot.  Working in restaurants and farting around in theatre, it was bound to happen, and it certainly has.  And I have seen some things. Some beautiful, some dark, all disturbing. 

Probably we all have. The guy trying to sell me his new BMW for cocaine money*. The girl offering to prostitute herself for the same drug. The waiter who would vanish into the bathroom during a stressful shift and come out, much calmer, teeth stuck to lips, nodding off on a bar stool when things calmed down. I have seen drug dealers hired to tend bar--- to pay off massive debts--- and I have seen people who could not pass up a drink to save their lives. 

With few exceptions- these were basically decent people. Some brighter, some nicer, but no one you would think of as a wretch- on good days- or as some kind of feeble minded, low willpower loser. 

Which has me certain that addiction is due to some sort of genetic malady. Like native Americans, who have no ability to tolerate alcohol.  It's something separate from who people are, mentally, emotionally, physically.  It's something that lurks in them. 

Which, I believe, is scientifically supported. Genetics, biochemistry, yada. 

And so.

I cannot- cannot- believe that our society still looks at these people as weak. Or bad, or some how lesser. Like they have some kind of damned moral flaw. 

Someone loses their  sight, or hearing. Someone gets cancer- we don't treat them like this. We figure- hey, they got sick, no fault of theirs.

Why we cannot extend that to addiction baffles me. I would love to pull a trope from science fiction. Convert every flat, reflective surface in the world to a speaker and broadcast a single message. 

"Addiction is not a fault.  

Whether you can manage it, live with it, or not. Whether, in disease terms, you can go into remission... or it drags you straight to hell?

Addiction is not a fault. It is not your fault. "

Why?

Because I see a lot of people who've bought into what society is constantly telling them. And I see it turning them grey, from the inside out.

And, goddamn it, it has to stop.

To quote Vonnegut- or a quote attributed to him- "Goddamn it, babies. You've GOT to be kind."

Yes. Something triggered this. No, I'm not going to discuss it. 

And so it goes.