The Cheeseburger- more reaction to The Menu

 Featured in the 2022 movie "The Menu" is a request for a simple, well made cheeseburger. The preparation of which is shown in the glossiest style imagined by any pornographer. 

 If you've never seen it, search for clips from "Nigella Bites" for plentiful examples of the style. Dramatic lighting, lingering shots of oily food moving languidly, etcetera. 

 Food porn is not a new phrase, but I want you to understand my meaning. It's a series of techniques that render food- on the screen- as almost unbearably appealing. You can practically smell it, taste it. 

 In the case of this cheeseburger, I've read lusty, desirous reactions from confirmed vegetarians- it looks that good. 

 It ignited a craving in me, so last night I made one. And it tasted as good as it looked. 

 The "Well made cheeseburger" from "The Menu":

It's not complicated. To make 2: A pound of decent ground beef, separated into 4 equally sized balls, kept cold until cooked. Good quality hamburger buns, about a quarter of a small white onion, thinly sliced, and 4 slices of Kraft Deli Deluxe American Cheese. Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper. 2-4 pickle slices per burger. 

You need a pan- not non stick- with a thick bottom, one that can take high heat. Cast iron or carbon steel would be good, and you will need a sturdy spatula- thin, metal- and possibly a paint scraper. A burger or bacon press would be good here, but you can get by. Also, a folded bit of parchment paper.

Toast your buns. You can put them in a toaster, spread with butter and pop them in the oven, or be all "I'm a professional" and toast the insides in melted butter in a pan. Top the bottom bun with pickles. If you like a sauce, like mayonnaise or mustard and ketchup- whatever- put that on the top bun. Set aside.

For the burgers:

Heat the pan until a water drop squirted on the surface skitters. Then slam the balls of meat down, and, putting the parchment paper on top of each beforehand- so the spatula does not stick-smash them- hard- with the sturdy spatula. Depending on your pan, you may be able to put in all four balls, but I would start with _two_.  Two patties = 1 cheeseburger.

Season the top of the patties with salt and pepper. Don't coat them, don't make it look like the salt snowed down. But, a good amount.

Spread about a tablespoon of thin sliced onion on each.

By this time, they should be almost done. Red in the center, greyish around the sides. Carefully, flip. If it seems to stick, use the paint scraper to get the crust off with it. Flip so that the onions are under the patty.

Let them cook for a minute or two, then drape the cheese on top.

When it melts to drippy, even looks like it is getting crusty around the edges, put one patty on top of the other-careful to get all the onions- then put them on the bun.

That's really it. Use mayonnaise or ketchup, mustard- whatever you favor- on the top bun, if you like a dressed burger. If you like bacon, you could cook some, and put the bacon between the patties when you finish. 

I would advise against lettuce, tomato, all of that- but you do you.

Delicious, basic stuff.

My issue here is that I cannot get my glass cooktop hot enough to make this quite as I would like. So my burgers lack the precise crust that I want. But if you have nice loopy metal burners or a gas stove, this is gonna go well.